The Godfather

He had said "No!" But Mahbube had insisted: "Look how cute she is", and she had that stare in her eyes, that made it harder than ever to say no. "By the way, when did you turn into such a traditional-minded man, you Mr. formerly-intellectual-now-wishing-a-son?"
Wish he'd only been a traditionalist. Wish he'd only become. Wish...
The principal of the orphanage agreed that it is harder to take care of a girl. "Hajji Sir" said Mahbube, "If a boy look at our daughter we'll sort him out, we'll even kill him" and she laughed out loudly.
She is definitely sitting somewhere right now, weeping and lamenting, "I'll kill him"
He had said "No!" But no, Mahbube was not a woman to give in. She did not understand. All through the last fifteen years, she could not understand, did not want to understand. And now she understands. What an understanding! Wish she had not understood it at all - now that it is too late.
Golnaz badly is scared. It seems as if she is just beginning to understand what she has done. What they have done.
"Dad, where do you think Mum is now?"
"Don't call me Dad!"
She too breaks into tears. Everybody is crying. Wish he could cry too. Wish he had wept then, fifteen years ago. Wish he had said his "No" with crying. Crying might have helped to explain. Crying is always an aid for talking, explaining, convincing. Just as Mahbube by crying had convinced him to take Golnaz home; to accept her; to let her be their daughter. Not to be "your private whore, you dirty horny animal" as Mahbube said, and then left.
And now Mahmud cries too. But in vain. What has been done is done. Now, not even crying can help. Wish God had never created crying. Wish God hadn't created anything.


translated from Persian.